Instinct or Choice?

They wear the infamous ankara wrappers that double as pajamas and let's not forget the netted bonnets.

They remember to pack the extra aspirin that came in handy that night you came down with a random headache.

They make the best jollof rice in town

They don't need measurements. They just "know" how much is enough

They carried us on their backs to get us to fall asleep

They carried us in their bellies to ensure that we came into full form and could breathe fresh air once we came into the world

Yep, you guessed it. I'm talking about our moms.

It's like mothers are born and bred with these instincts. I mean, how do they know that a piece of bread will sooth an upset child?

How do they know the difference between a baby's "I'm ok" cough and an "I'm choking" cough?

How do they know which cry means "hold me", "feed me", "play with me"? 

Or, what drives a young woman, to run after a toddler  who decided to be adventurous and climb the back of a metal chair only to land head first on the ground?

Are all females just inherently born with these motherly instincts? Or are they learned? Passed down from generation to generation?

I believe some of it may be instinctual. However, some abandon this motherly role even when the evidence is unavoidable.

Let's take David Pelzer for instance. In A Child Called It he recounts the abuse he received at the hands of his mother after she became emotionally unstable due to alcohol. He was starved, thrown into the oven, forced to smother his face in diapers, among other things. In essence, David was reduced to an it. His childhood became a struggle for survival.

Then there is Liz Murray, a homeless teenager who went to Harvard on a journalism scholarship sponsored by the New York Times. As she described, perhaps her parents forgot that they loved her. Her mom was schizophrenic and addicted to cocaine. To make matters worse, she had gone legally blind. The roles were now reversed. Liz was the care giver, and her mom was now the child--not mentally stable enough to provide any type of care--even with good intentions.

And we can't forget the film Precious which was based on a true story. The mother character was far from spectacular. She often threw items(e.g fry pans) at her daughter Precious, and tore at her self-esteem.

Now what can we learn from these stories?
Well, for starters we have much to be grateful for. For one, our mothers are NOT psychotic maniacs. They have our best interest at heart.

Here's to moms. We can't forget them; we can't afford to. The truth is, we'll only have them until we don't have them anymore.

From the classics..